A recipe for an apology, in poem form
I come as a friend
To say there is someone in your life who in particular is hurting
And I think would appreciate you showing some personal introspection
and public self-accountability
in order to heal
you, incidentally, were actually the person who prompted me to __________. I was afraid I’d put my foot in my mouth.
I’m glad you did that, because we’re now (me and them, you and me) friends.
context: at some point, I read a statistic that after 7 years of friendship, you’d made it. You were effectively “stuck” together for life because of the shared context and mutual witnessing of each others’ growth.
my corollary: sometimes, it can be shorter than 7 years. sometimes, you can get back in touch even after it’s been 7 years since you last spoke! it just depends on how well you are able to look in a mirror, and then how much courage you have to reach back out and say: “hey, I was just thinking about you. and that thing I did way back when? I’m sorry. No expectations for you to respond; just thought you might want to know.”
first published April 11, 2021.